Lady Poverty

In my daily devotions, one particular reading recurs on the 29th of the month. It is related to St. Francis, written by Murray Bodo. The title is: Lady Poverty in the eyes of Juniper, friend of Francis, Fool of God.

The first time I read it I felt like my face was slapped. Right at the beginning he expressed gratitude for the experience of being dependent on other people. And I could quickly imagine the many ways that we just "hate" being dependent on other people. Growing old. Waiting in line for other people. Taking orders from others. Being at the mercy of someone else's whims. And here was Murray Bodo saying:

If I am truly poor, then I am dependent on others for everything, and I feel useless and worthless, and I realize deep within that everything is a gift from the Father. Then in this attitude of complete dependence, I become useful again, for then I am empty of selfishness and I am free to be God's instrument instead of my own.

I thought to myself, "I could never have that attitude to things so painful. That kind of attitude is beyond me." But as I have prayed it, month by month, over the course of more than a year, now, my defenses have softened. Sometimes I can imagine that I could have such a spirit of surrender and gratitude – well, at least for a little while.

God is at work in me. He's not finished yet. Thanks be to God.

Lady Poverty, I love you. You, my Lady, take all the sting from being poor. In your embrace I am rich indeed, for I have someone to love. I have you. … and we know it is all worthwhile because when we look into your eyes, we see Christ Himself.